Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
Format: Wii
Waving a stick has never been such fun.
With the Wii’s successful launch out of the way and a Christmas of family’s sweating over Wii Sports, Nintendo’s latest puts the controller through some ingenious and strange paces.
Continuing the madcap series that has graced many a console, Smooth Moves takes Wario Ware’s trademark gameplay and gives it a full-on motion sensing twist.
Made up of hundreds of microgames lasting mere seconds, Wario Ware bombards you with surreal game after game. Blink and you’ll miss it and be laughing into the next one as you try to pick a nose, answer the phone, scrub a cow’s behind and insert Granny’s teeth into her mouth.
Requiring you to assume various positions to hold the controller (such as the ‘big cheese’ and the ‘elephant’), Smooth Moves relies on the players willingness to look like a fool and ensure the game is played in the correct and ridiculous way.
While single player is a blast to play and possibly funnier to watch, it’s surprisingly let down in multiplayer. After the Gamecube’s competitive and chaotic four player face off, Smooth Moves’ turn based structure actually tones down the fun. The selection of modes on offer is a little uninspired too but the turn based structure ensures that more people can join in and the more the merrier.
It’s a shame they couldn’t offer both options but with Wario Ware’s crazed gameplay i’m sure that four people playing with four controllers at the same time would end up in the local A&E ward.
9/10

Shinobido: Tales of the ninja
Format: PSP
Pocket ninja niggles.
Tales of the ninja is the handheld sequel to the ambitious but flawed PS2 title of last year. Continuing the Tenchu styled gameplay of silent assassinations, poisoned rice cakes and grappling hook action, Shinobido attempted to introduce deeper, branching storylines to the genre but was held back by poor execution.
This handheld sequel continues the series with a more modest agenda while retaining the branching network of missions and purist gameplay.
Surprisingly, controls have translated fairly well with the loss of the second stick supplemented by a Zelda-esque lock on system hoping to remove the need for a player controlled camera.
This however is a holy grail among 3rd person action games and alongside the poor AI and glitchy gameplay inherited from its predecessor, the camera often struggles to act well under pressure.
Combat remains simplistic and is mainly a last resort of timed button bashing when you miss-judge a stealth kill. The analogue nub’s sensitivity is also simplified to the point of being a twitchy digital shadow of its former self.
For all its niggles, Tales of the ninja still manages to create some compelling gameplay in bite size, portable pieces - if you can see past the graphical glitches and work around the camera problems, there’s a world of freeform ninja action to be discovered and just like it’s spiritual father Tenchu, much can be gleaned from retreading the same rooftop running, neck snapping action as you chase that illusive perfect mission where you are neither seen nor heard yet leave none alive.
6/10

World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade
Format: PC.
The relationship killer revitalised.
Occasionally courting controversy with tales of Oprah baiting, catheter filling addiction, Blizzard’s World of Warcraft is certainly a force to be reckoned. With over 8 million worldwide players it’s the biggest online game and has dragged MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) out of a geekish niche and into the mainstream.
Taking the traditional Lord of the Rings style fantasy scenario of orcs and elves it blends it into a massive online world full of cartoonish beauty, humour and corpse camping. Not without its flaws, WoW still manages to crush any competition in the online arena and The Burning Crusade expansion pack has begun to revitalise its creature filled instances.
Adding two new races (the Draenai and Blood Elves) to the already varied roster, The Burning Crusade also introduces the Jewel Crafting profession, a raised level cap to 70 and flying mounts and a new alien world called Outland for those who can reach for that cap.
As Polar opposites to each other, the spiritual Draenai use crystalised magic to power technology while the Blood Elves use it to feed an almost narcotic hunger for power. Having literally fallen from the stars in a great crystal powered spaceship, the Draenai introduce a sci-fi edge to the traditionally fantasy orientated world and the Blood Elves’ tainted vision introduces a darker edge to the world lore.
Regular players of WoW will get a lot out of the raised level cap and be able to visit the inhospitable world of Outland. For new players, Outland is a long, long way off and they may not find justification in investing in the expansion (the full game is also required to play). Thankfully the new races and profession help offset the financial pain with the hook of being part of the first wave of players to level up an exotic new character and become a master jeweller.
By introducing new races, The Burning Crusade creates a new level of balance in the world of Azeroth - the Alliance get an ugly race and the Horde get a handsome one. Beyond simple and shallow aesthetics the Draenai also bring Shamans to the Alliance and the Blood Elves introduce Paladins to the Horde. Now both sides can stop complaining about unfair class advantages and get on with player vs player fighting.
Despite these additions WoW remains a strange creature at heart - made of a world so huge and colourful and full of character that it immerses by default yet at the same time, its clinical re-spawning of quests and creatures and the lack of individuality among the cloned legions of players creates an immersion sapping contradiction.
At the end of the day though it’s all about socialising - against popular belief, the game isn’t the addiction, it’s the ever growing network of friends you meet and adventure with between rests at the local inn over jugs of dwarven ale. That and the intoxicating draw to gain just a bit more experience and level up to claim that new spell and shiny new armour.
8/10

Metal Slug Anthology
For PSP, £35.
Verdict: Tanks for the memories.
Rating: 3½/5
In this age of 3D, polygon based, bump mapped, shadered and bloomed graphical pizzazz, it’s always refreshing to settle down with an old-school 2D pixel pushing game. There’s something about the art direction - the fact that the designers have to squeeze so much character out of what basically amounts to a collection of different coloured squares is testament to why the pixel art scene is still flourishing. Paul Smith’s got in on the action courtesy of eboy and with Malcolm Mclaren doing the same with chip music (electronica made using old gaming technology) these retro stylings are thankfully here to stay.
The Metal Slug series is one of the last champions of 2D although even it has recently succumbed to the glamours of 3D. Starting out on the legendary NeoGeo it has blazed a trail as an over-the-top, run and gun two player shooter with distinct cartoon stylings, wildly imaginative design and of course its trademark humour and the titular Metal Slugs - super deformed tanks and various other gun laden vehicles and animals.
This anthology brings together all the arcade classics onto one handheld delight, notably including the reworked Metal Slug X and the previously unreleased Metal Slug 6. It’s not a comprehensive list as versions such as the NeoGeo pocket or Gameboy Advance games are missing but with seven games of raw, explosive fun included it’s an absolute bargain for nostalgia heads and shoot-em-up fans new to the genre.
The series could easily be accused of being repetitive, with each iteration recycling old sprites and adding little new to the core gameplay but playing with a friend is an essential and entertaining part of its draw and Metal Slug 6’s score multiplyer system and deeper weapon hoarding mechanic seeks to rectify the repetition and is almost enough to justify the purchase alone.
Given the value and the quality of gameplay, the PSP’s hardware limitations unfortunately mar the overall experience - load times are painfully slow for the quick fix action and many of the games suffer from slow down and mid-battle loading pauses. In a game built around speed, chaos and frenetic action, it’s a blight on an otherwise joyous step back in time.

Sega Mega Drive Collection
For PS2, also PSP. £19.99
Verdict: To be this good takes ages.
Rating: 4/5
When I were a lad and all this was parallax scrolling trees, there came a cutting edge games console with the most ‘radical’ games. Introducing the world to the 16-bit era with an explosion of garish pixels and the blue blur of a hedgehog, Sega re-imagined gaming with an attitude fit for a teen.
Beating Nintendo to the 16 bit arena, Sega was responsible for introducing some of history’s most iconic games to us through the power of its Mega Drive. This collection, while not definitive, brings many of them back for some rose tinted action.
Made up of thirty two games, the Sega Mega Drive Collection offers up classics such as the stylised Comix Zone, the sublime Ecco the Dolphin, the action packed Vector Man and the epic Sword of Vermillion.
With retro compilations often made up of filler content it’s refreshing to see how many quality titles make up the collection and with barely a dud in sight, the nature of nostalgia means even they have some kitsch value worthy of a bash.
With the terminating ‘Game Over’ screen a rarity these days it’s a refreshing lesson in the history of game design from simpler times, albeit one of the teeth gnashing, pixel perfect, one hit and you’re out variety. In the present age of adaptive difficulty levels and auto-save points it feels almost alien to have to play a game from the start every time you lose.
For those of us who grew up with these delights the collection houses some fond memories that thankfully remain authentic and untarnished and for those that missed out the first time round there are some genuinely playable titles that can still thrill today.
There are some notable absentees that would have been welcome instead of the number of sequels included but for the budget price you can’t really complain - if only Nintendo were so generous with their Virtual Console.

The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess
For Wii, also Gamecube.
Verdict: A masterpiece of tradition and invention.
Rating: 5/5
As the must-have launch title for the Nintendo Wii, The Twilight Princess is a strange beast, much like the creatures that inhabit its contrasting worlds. Originally conceived as a Gamecube title, it was held back a year and transformed into a showboat for the Wii - a fusion of traditional gameplay and new motion sensing controls.
Taking place in a reworked Hyrule that The Ocarina of Time introduced to spellbound gamers in 1999, The Twilight Princess dishes out plenty of nostalgia. For those that played the N64 classic it’s like holidaying in your favourite destination, for first timers it’s an enviable place to be introduced to the series.
With the land of Hyrule invaded by the outcast denizens of the shadow realm and overcast by a nightmare of neon scarred beasts and alien pixelation, a young boy finds himself transformed into a wolf and entrusted with the fate of the land. With the assistance of a shadow girl he must defeat the evil Zant who wields an all too familiar power.
While containing the same puzzle filled dungeons and gorgeous graphics as the Gamecube, the Wii offers alternative controls - using the ‘Wiimote’ you aim your projectile weapons by pointing at your target on the screen. Allowing for greater accuracy and speed than the traditional analogue stick, it also takes you one step closer to feeling like you’re actually using a bow or slingshot.
Sword attacks are done by merely flicking the Wiimote and at first they don’t really justify the replacement of the button press - it’s later on when hidden moves are learned and subtler attacks like the Shield Bash reveal the true relevance of the Wii’s advances.
From start to finish, The Twilight Princess is an adventure that always delivers and never disappoints. It could be accused of recycling past Zeldas and failing to truly innovate beyond its new-found controls but the quality of the experience, the puzzle design, the boss fights, the animation, art direction and story are all executed with such finesse and self-referential confidence that it doesn’t matter. It’s Zelda through and through and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Mutant Storm: Reloaded
For Xbox 360.
Verdict: Ride the razor, baby.
Rating: 4/5
If you just did a double-take at the game title above, well spotted - you could be forgiven to thinking that it’s January 2006 because Mutant Storm: Reloaded is about a year old.
As one of the flagship titles for the 360’s downloadable Live Arcade collection, Mutant Storm has been over-shadowed by Geometry Wars’ more iconic vector based warping and an eclipse that i’ve recently just seen past.
For those lucky folks who received Microsoft’s big noisy box for Christmas this is one gem worth seeking out amid the casual game clutter that fills Live Arcade and justification for my year late review.
Taking the twin stick controls first seen in Robotron: 2084 (left stick to move, right stick to fire) and used in other arcade classics like Smash TV (i’d buy that for a dollar!) and of course Geometry Wars, Mutant Storm instils a new sense of urgency and depth into proceedings.
With a retro aesthetic that seems crafted in the late night chill-out rooms of the nineties, Mutant Storm takes its form in a series of roughly 100 varied and abstract rooms full of shrill, multicoloured insectoids, pulsing lasers, gun turrets and subtle background electronica.
Visually it’s anything but subtle with gaudy neon fire burning a hole in your new plasma screen as readily as your streaming bullets eat at the ever marching waves of Y2K bugs and nightmare squidlings.
What it brings to the shoot-em-up sub-genre is an adaptive difficulty level where more points equals increased difficulty. Broken up into a karate style belt system you start on white and work your way up to black. If you lose a life your point multiplyers reset and your belt percentage drops meaning that next difficulty level is further away and so is your high score.
Like the polar opposite to the Weight Watchers plan, more points is what it’s all about - sure you can complete the game on Yellow Belt difficulty but the online leaderboards of the 360 ensure that’s not much to brag about.
With the two player gameplay that Geometry Wars lacks the most, Mutant Storm’s emphasis on speed requires gutsy gameplay and an almost psychic level of control over your twitching, neurotic thumbs.
Life on the edge for 800 MS points.